CLAM Blog 4: Imaginary Exchange Student

RIPPLES, RINGS, AND DEFINITION OF TERMS.

One of the things I laugh about here in Spain is my utter confusion when someone asks me, "Where are you from?" When meeting new people in Clemson, that part of the conversation is a well-worn routine. "Greenville... about 40 minute's drive from here... I went to Eastside High School..." Pausing, of course, to allow them to ask the series of questions that falls within their range of familiarity with the area. If they go so far as to ask what High School I attended, they'll likely conclude by rattling off a few names to see if I recognize any. There's about a 30% chance that I will.

Here, in Spain, I don't know what question I'm being asked unless I have some background information on the asker. "Greenville" means nothing unless you know South Carolina. South Carolina means nothing unless you already know I'm from the United States, which is in North America, which is in the Western Hemisphere. But sometimes, they're asking what study abroad program I'm with, where I'm staying in Spain, or even where my family's lineage hails from. I'm tempted to begin replying, "Planet Earth," just to establish some common ground. But, depending on who's asking, I'm not sure if the humor would translate.

Because the final, tiniest ring in the concentric circles of identity that ripple out around me is the space of my own mind, where everyone but me is a stranger. Think how often you have to explain yourself to someone inside all your other rings. I do things that seem illogical to outsiders because of the values, rituals, beliefs, song and dance in my head; the ethos, nomos, mythos, archon, and techne of my own subjective experience.

So "my people" needs definition, and a lot of it is reflexive: I am a female as opposed to a male, an American as opposed to a Spaniard, a South Carolinian as opposed to a New Yorker, a Clemson student as opposed to a Texas A&M student. I'll identify myself towards others in response to how they identify themselves towards me. Who is this exchange student? What is their previous culture and body of experience? That will make all the difference in how they encounter my people for the first time. I'm going to call my exchange student Eubert.

BIG PICTURE: GEERT HOFSTEDE'S CULTURAL DIMENSIONS

I think Geert Hofstede's cultural dimensions are helpful for explaining the overall value systems and cultural trend of the largest circle, which is modern American culture. Based on my own experience, I would guess that Americans have a low PDI, a high (very individualist) IDV, have a lower MAS (more feminine), a medium low UAI (avoiding uncertainty), and a Long-Term orientation. In summary: Americans tend to have a low tolerance for unequally distributed power (watch the news), value individualism WAY more than collectivism (every man for himself. Watch the divorce rates), minimize the difference between gender roles and values (compared to the rest of the world), avoid uncertainty and favor belief in absolute Truth (I'm talking a culture-wide trend, here. Way more Baptists than Buddhists in America), and value thrift and perseverance with a big fat "F.U." to tradition, social obligation, and preserving reputation. Strangely, these are things that are easier to explain in an academic way than to explain to someone experiencing them for the first time.

Ehn... it's impossible to fully explain everything in all my culture rings to a stranger. Too broad a scope. I'mma skip down a few to a more interesting culture shift.

DEAR EUBERT, REMAIN CALM.

Dear Eubert,

Welcome to your new life at my family dinner table. Here are a few guidelines:

• The cultural rule is don't discuss politics, religion, or sex at the "dinner table," but this rule will be broken by your mother, father, and grandmother. It's fine if they bring it up but not if you do. Smile and nod politely and avoid expressing any strong view which may be considered controversial. Since my grandma is a minefield of political and religious triggers, and my mother will die of shock and shame if you say anything about sex at all, I'd avoid speaking entirely until you've adjusted.
• You should be smart. If you're not smart enough to seem smart, criticize pretentious people in an excruciatingly ironic meta-pretention.
• You're also supposed to be creative. Good luck proving it.
• Name-drop philosophers, artists, and authors as much as possible.
• Mom has a sensitive conscience. Try not to make her feel guilty about anything or inadequate, because she often feels that way anyway and it will really make her sad.
• Don't interrupt Dad's sermonettes on whatever has been on his mind lately. Sometimes you get really good stuff out of them, so try to listen in addition to being polite.
• NEVER CUSS or you will get dirty looks from the parents and possibly a lecture about your character later.
• Do not mention alcohol more than once in a conversation or you will receive the aforementioned lecture about your character.
• Entertain Grandma's ill-informed questions about your life. She means well.
• UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should you permit a political discussion to begin with your Grandma present! Do ANYTHING, stand on your head, belch, sing row-row-your-boat, anything to divert attention away from political affairs. If you don't you will have to endure your grandma's incredibly misinformed political interests which she nurtures under the tender care of Fox news and fear-mongering militant conservative talk show hosts. Do not sarcastically refer to ridiculous political rumors (Obama is the antichrist, healthcare reform bill is a sign of the apocalypse, etc.) because chances are she might actually believe it.
• Evan is Straightedge, Caroline is a vegetarian, Eric shops at thrift stores. Try and find something within the mainstream "hipster" counter-culture to distinguish yourself.
• Pretend to be a Christian, even if you're not, for the sake of your grandma and to avoid more lectures.
• Once you part ways with the Faith every negative experience you have will be attributed to your spiritual deficit. I would just keep hush about it and avoid the whole thing. It doesn't matter what you believe as long as you can smile and nod.
• Eat grandma's food even if it is a strange combo and has too much mayonnaise.
• Always compliment mom's food, too.
• You can make fun of Dad's cooking if needed. But you won't, because he only cooks eggs and pancakes, and they're awesome.

Good luck.